Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What are the differences between Republicans and Democrats in their views of the government's role in society? How do these differences impact policymaking?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Man Buys $70,000 Ford After Dealership 'Played With the Numbers' for Him. 2 Years Later, He's Speaking Out - Motor1.com

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Did you ever receive genuine remarks from a medium regarding your deceased relative with information that the medium could never normally know?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Scientists identify a group of viruses just one mutation away from causing the next pandemic - Times of India

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have a reading level above third grade

Why do our deceased do not protect us from other bad spirits?

I see through liars

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What are the 10 things you regret doing in your life?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

Moving sucks, but decluttering helps - The Verge

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t cotton to rapists

Skin Aging Reduced by Molecules from Bacteria in the Blood - Neuroscience News

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Staying in This Place Too Long Could Change How You Age, Scientists Say - The Daily Galaxy

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What would have happened if Shin was a good movie instead of a bad one?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

‘Hamilton’ Original Cast Reunites for Tony Awards Medley — Watch - The Hollywood Reporter

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

The Action Network: Cracker Barrel 400 predictions, picks, odds for Nashville - NASCAR.com

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Japanese Scientists Develop Artificial Blood Compatible With All Blood Types - Tokyo Weekender

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

How physicists used antimatter, supercomputers and giant magnets to solve a 20-year-old mystery - The Conversation

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can count

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can read

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup